American Military Community

82ndAirborneDad · Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 7:16 pm Post subject: Clean jokes of the day . . .

A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history,
was going to Italy to study the country's greatest works of
art. Since there was no one to look after her grandmother
while she was away, she took the old lady with her. At the
Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting
on the ceiling.

"Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that
ceiling painted."

"Oh my," the grandmother replied. "He and I must have the
same landlord."

A troop of Boy Scouts were being used as "guinea pigs" in a
test of emergency systems.

A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated
wounded persons, who were to be picked up and cared for by
the emergency units.

One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his
rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and
the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.

When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was
supposed to be, they found nothing but this brief note:
"Have bled to death and gone home."

A computer programmer wrote once of his laziness.
He had the awful desire to program a malicious virus,
but since he was too lazy he wrote this note instead, and
sent it out to everyone in his address book.

Dear friend,

I'm too lazy to program a real virus, so here you go:

This virus works on the honor system.

Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward
this message to everyone you know.

Thank you for your cooperation.

usmc5831 · Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 3:03 am Post subject:

LMAO some good ones in there Dad. Thanks for the laughs
_________________
Make money fast

http://Usmc5831.smptrms.hop.clickbank.net

Need a car?

82ndAirborneDad · Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 2:25 pm Post subject:

From my computer geeks archives . . .

Here's a list of alternative meanings to common computer industry abbreviations for you to enjoy.

PCMCIA -- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN -- It Still Does Nothing

APPLE -- Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI -- System Can't See It

DOS -- Defunct Operating System

BASIC -- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM -- I Blame Microsoft

DEC -- Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM -- Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 -- Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW -- World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH -- Many Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating
System Hangs

usmc5831 · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 3:03 pm Post subject:

Most are true is the sad thing about it Neal. Laughing

_________________
Make money fast

http://Usmc5831.smptrms.hop.clickbank.net

Need a car?

Uncle Sam · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 6:13 pm Post subject:

LMAO! Those computer jokes You sure got right! LMAO! Laughing

_________________

Prayer for the Troops in Iraq
Dear Lord, please hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them, Father, as they protect us. When they are tired, give them strength and rest. If they are wounded, Father, give them comfort. When they are lonely, may they feel You near them. Grant them strength, courage, and wisdom for their tasks. And, Lord, uplift and strengthen the families and loved ones who wait for their return. Please, Father, bring a quick end to all this conflict. I pray in the name of Jesus, our Saviour. Amen.
"Obstacles are just a sign that you are moving forward"~ Me

82ndAirborneDad · Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:26 pm Post subject: Parrot at the Auction . . .

A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of
the items for sale is a large parrot.

He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it comes up for
bid he offers $50. The bidding proceeds hot and heavy with
someone always bidding ten dollars more than he until the
parrot is finally sold to him for $1,500.

When he goes to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer, "Can
the bird talk?"

The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was bidding
against you?"

usmc5831 · Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:29 pm Post subject:

ROFLMAO I would have been pissed off. LOL Laughing

_________________
Make money fast

http://Usmc5831.smptrms.hop.clickbank.net

Need a car?

82ndAirborneDad · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:57 pm Post subject: This is me in a few years!!

A police car pulled up in front of grandma's house, and
grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the
elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and
couldn't find his way home.

"Grandpa," said grandma, "You've been going to that park for
over 30 years! How come you got lost today?"

Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear,
grandpa whispered back, "I wasn't lost. I was just too tired
to walk home."

usmc5831 · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 4:02 pm Post subject:

LOL tahts about the truth. Laughing

_________________
Make money fast

http://Usmc5831.smptrms.hop.clickbank.net

Need a car?

82ndAirborneDad · Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:21 pm Post subject:

Funny, but I can see Chris doing that too once he gets older!! Shocked

usmc5831 · Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 1:28 am Post subject:

82ndAirborneDad · Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 2:38 pm Post subject:

If the front of your car says "DODGE," do you really need
a horn?

usmc5831 · Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 7:00 pm Post subject:

ROFLMAO good clue. Laughing

_________________
Make money fast

http://Usmc5831.smptrms.hop.clickbank.net

Need a car?

	American Military Community Forum Index -> Humor	All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1